This is one of my favourite features on The Needle. Every 4 months I find and post my top ‘Billy No Mates’ E-Petitions. To qualify they all, at the time of posting, have only one signature (presumably their own) and must have been up for at least 8 months.
Petition to start building a meteor defense system by Tom Chapman
Responsible department: Cabinet Office
As of now we have no form of defense if a meteor were to collide with Earth, and the creation of such defenses may take years.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33207
The Elephant Gun Technique by Manny Perex
Responsible department: Department of Health
The Elephant Gun Technique, if properly instigated, could deter smokers from lighting up, and also guarantee those who want to give up, that they would never start again. The government should give this scheme a try. It DOES work!
MPs should be immune from freedom of information requests by Peter Smith
Responsible department: Office of the Leader of the House of Commons
Our MPs work very hard for this country, and people persist in trying to find out every single aspect of their lives with “freedom of information” requests.
Therefore, MPs should be immune from such requests.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33347
Tax to visit Greece by Dave moss
Responsible department: Her Majesty’s Treasury
If Greece default on loans introduce a huge tax to visit there to pay back the damage they do. They cannot benefit from euro tourism with their careless attitude of spend and destroy. Grow some and don’t let these countries rape Europe and us of all our values and money.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33987
Sunglasses whilst driving by Thomas Baker
Responsible department: Department for Transport
It should be illegal to drive a vehicle whilst wearing sunglasses. It is dangerous as restricts viewing of traffic and pedestrians.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33899
Appoint Musmnet as morality watchdog by Lauren Harding
Responsible department: Department for Culture, Media and Sport
I’m delighted that the gov’t is taking a stance on online pornography to help protect my children.
However I feel that Musmnet have a better understanding of what would be good for morals and what isn’t.
Therefore I think the gov’t should appoint them as some kind of watchdog.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33658
Reduce traffic congestion by allowing White Vans into bus lanes by Colin Hughes
Responsible department: Department for Transport
Bus Lanes are a waste of valuable road space.
Please allow all delivery vans, White Vans as well as Royal Mail vans and trucks to use bus lanes.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33996
British Migrants Party proposes to celebrate “Migrants are our Daiamonds” day, on 5th of June every year by Suzanna Yebeni
Responsible department: Home Office
Many of our leaders in Britain are migrants, or they have got immigrant ancestors, like Duke of Edinburgh or The Queen who has got German ancestors. We also have many politicians with immigrant background. In fact vast majority of people living in Britain have got immigrant connection. UK would look an abandoned country without them. Migrants are hard working, tough, durable, and reliable just like diamonds. It will be great to celebrate migrant’s arrival to UK as rescuers, revitalises and mark their arrival to UK on 5th of June. On this great date we will celebrate migrant’s first step on this land, bringing prosperity, competition and expertise. What a great reason to celebrate and honour migrants, recognise their contribution to our society. It will boost the moral of migrants too, create festival atmosphere, rejoice, creation of harmony, integrated society. That is what we need, a day to celebrate, “celebration of migrants arrival to the United Kingdom” the diamonds, our migrants.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/34044
Better Hosepipe Ban punishment by M. Perkins
Responsible department: Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
A lot of people don’t pay attention to the hosepipe ban, and I feel that the £1,000 fine isn’t adequate enough.
Anyone caught disregarding the ban should have their water cut off.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/34778
House of Lords Reform Create a Third Chamber by Simon Noble
Responsible department: Cabinet Office
Reduce the House of Lords in size, by removing representatives of all religions. This would involve Islamics and Christians and any minority quasi-political group of activists including Born-Again Christians. These groups would still receive representation through their existing Members of Parliament.
Replace them in the House of Lords with a Third Chamber of appointed experts. These individuals would move in or out of the House of Lords, as government business demand changes.
Reform the House of Commons, by transferring to the elected MPs a responsibility for business associated with a sole government department but with the constituency enlarged to cover the whole UK. This would enable MPs to train for career advancement to a Third Chamber and then the House of Lords.
This is more in line with modern business practices.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/35601
Petition to prohibit turning right by Ian Walker
Responsible department: Department for Transport
Most traffic delays, which cost small businesses dearly in wasted fuel and, therefore, impact upon Britains ability to recover from recession, are caused by people turning right from main roads.
If turning right from a main road, except at roundabouts and traffic lights or intersections with set lanes for the purpose of turning right, was prohibited, traffic would flow more freely on our roads – it would reduce accidents – and we would save money by not having to sit for ages in queues of traffic.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/35433