Following a recent poll which has shown, for the first time a lead, for the ‘Yes’ campaign for Scottish independence, it has been announced that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridgeshire’s unborn second child has been using semaphore to urge the people of Scotland to vote ‘No’ in the referendum which takes place in ten days time on the 18th September.
“A series of images of the royal foetus clearly show it desperately signalling a message to the Scottish electorate.” Dr Fuller-Krep told The Needle’s royal correspondent.
“When the foetus is born it will be 4th in line to the throne and so it is quite understandable that it would want to protect it’s birthright” he went on to explain. “It is very difficult to decipher but I think it is clear that he does not want Scotland to split from the UK.”
‘Lie back and think of Scotland’
Asked by The Needle whether this was all just a lame attempt at trying to influence the referendum vote, a senior royal insider said, “Err… is it that obvious ? I mean, of course not but as we have been blessed by this happy occasion it would be foolish not to take this opportunity to remind the Scottish people of all they will lose.”
The Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne offered a carrot and stick choice to the Scots. “If the Scottish people vote ‘No’ in the referendum, I have it on good authority that the child will be called Prince Jock but if they vote ‘Yes’ then he’ll be given an English name and he certainly won’t be shared with Scotland.”