Julian Assange Has A Chronic Lounge Condition

Julian Assange, who is living at the Ecuadorean embassy in London, has a chronic lounge condition “which could get worse at any moment”, the country’s ambassador to the UK has warned.

“He’s been in the embassy for almost six months now”, a spokesman for Assange told The Needle, “and the absence of media attention is having a demoralising effect on him. Early on he’d sit in the Embassy lounge for hours and watch news reports about himself  on TV but reports over the last few months have been few and far between and he’s started watching Jeremy Kyle, Judge Judy and other daytime TV.”

The Needle’s medical expert, Dr Broome, confirmed the seriousness of Assange’s Lounge condition,”He needs to get out more.” he expertly told us.

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